A meeting with a family law attorney costs money by the hour and, more importantly, costs you the attorney's attention. If the first half of the meeting is spent scrolling through your phone for a text from March, you have paid for a search, not for advice. Attorneys can do a great deal with a client who arrives organized. Here is how to be that client, whether it is your first consultation or your twentieth meeting in an ongoing case.
Know what the meeting is for
Before you prepare anything, write down in one or two sentences what you need from this meeting. A decision about whether to file? A review of a proposed agreement? A strategy for the next court date? A response to something the other parent did? Your preparation should serve that purpose. Bringing everything to every meeting is nearly as unhelpful as bringing nothing; the attorney cannot find the relevant item either.
Build a chronology
The single most useful document you can hand a family lawyer is a one or two page timeline: dated, factual, in order, and short. Each entry is one line: date, what happened, who was there, where the evidence is. “3/14: Other parent did not appear for 6:00 exchange; arrived 7:10; see messages” is an entry. A paragraph of feelings about it is not.
Include the key dates of the relationship and the case (separation, filing, orders), the significant events since the last meeting, and anything upcoming. Keep it as a living document and add to it as things happen, so that preparing for a meeting means printing it rather than reconstructing six months.
Organize the communications
Attorneys need to see the full thread for the relevant period, in chronological order, with dates and times, not a selection of screenshots. A curated set of the other parent's worst messages raises the question of what was cut and what you said in between. The complete record, even if it includes a message you regret, is more credible and more useful.
If your communication lives in a co-parenting app, this is one step: export the date range as a PDF and bring it. Family Focus produces a chronological, server timestamped PDF of the message thread for any period you choose. If your communication lives in text messages and email, gather everything for the period into one document in date order, and consider moving future communication into a single system so this never has to be done again.
Organize the money
For a financial meeting, whether about support, expenses, or a settlement, bring:
- Recent pay stubs and last year's tax return, for you and, if you have them, for the other parent
- A list of shared child expenses for the period, each with the date, amount, receipt, who paid, and whether it was reimbursed
- The running balance between you, with the entries that support it
- Any written requests for reimbursement and the responses
- Statements for any account relevant to the question
If you log expenses as they happen, this is an export rather than a project. Family Focus's expense ledger exports the full history for a date range with receipts and settlement status, which is what a support hearing or a mediation actually needs.
Organize the documents
Bring the current order or agreement, in full, and any prior orders. Bring anything the court or the other side has sent you since the last meeting. For custody matters, bring recent school and medical records that bear on the issue. Put everything in labeled folders, physical or digital, by category: Court, Medical, School, Financial, Communications. If your documents already live in a shared folder with those categories, share access with your attorney or export what is relevant.
Consider giving your attorney direct access
Some co-parenting apps allow an attorney to view the family's records directly, which eliminates the forwarding and the assembling altogether. In Family Focus, each family has a separate observer code; share it with your attorney and they can read the messages, calendar, expenses, and documents in view only mode from their own account, at any time, without being able to post or change anything. Attorneys who use it tend to arrive at meetings already knowing what happened, which makes the meeting about advice rather than catching up.
Write your questions down
Keep a running list between meetings and bring it. Put the most important questions first, because meetings run out of time. Typical questions worth asking: What are our options and what do you recommend? What is the likely timeline? What will this cost? What should I do, and not do, between now and the next step? What do you need from me? Take notes on the answers, or ask whether you may record the meeting.
What not to bring
- Hundreds of unsorted screenshots
- A list of the other parent's character flaws
- The children, unless the attorney has asked to meet them
- A friend or relative who will participate, unless the attorney agrees; their presence can waive the confidentiality of the meeting
- Recordings made without knowing whether your state allowed them
The one page test: if you can hand your attorney a one page chronology, a complete message export, an expense ledger with receipts, and the current order, the meeting will be about what to do next. That is the meeting worth paying for.
Family Focus is a communication and record keeping tool, not a law firm. This article is general information and is not legal advice. Custody law varies by state, and whether any record is admissible is a question for your attorney and the court.